How to fight and play with a set of bikini armor as a DM in your tabletop roleplaying game. It’s a significant part of the gaming culture. So let’s open that can of worms today.
We’re not going to talk about the validityof bikini armor. I think we all knowthat it isn’t the practical set. And tobe honest the vast majority of us will not enter combat dressed in either aChainmail bikini or in a loincloth like Conan.
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I think the reason why this is such a hot topic is it’s easy to poke at. For others, they can become quite offended by it. And even more, it’s like seeing the picture that’s tilted on the wall it just makes them itch until they straighten it.
But what happens when your players want to bring their player designed armor or something they found on the Internet into your game? And it looks like a set of bikini armor.
I never saw any problems with it myself. After all, it’s a fantasy game and I treat it exactly like that.
Remember, for the most part, we’re playing a fantasy game.
I do things, say things, and make things that I wouldn’t do in real life. One of which is run around on a battlefield as a bare-chested barbarian swinging a two-handed sword. Oh and by the way I did that in 3.5, not fifth edition.
We see so much of it that it’s fun to fantasize. We are reliving stories that we read about or watched half-naked barbarians charging into battle.
Because that’s what this is, it is a fantasy game. I know some people out there will say ‘but their fantasy is ruining my fantasy.’
And what I have to say to that. Someone else’s fantasy or choices should not interfere with your own goals and fantasies. You can continue to roleplay your character perfectly fine without interference from the person who is wearing bikini armor. Unless of course they really are wearing bikini armor, have an extraordinarily hairy chest and long bushy beard at the table.
Marketing?
Which leads me to the reason for bikini chainmail and plate mail, it’s marketing. Let’s face it when you see a chainmail bikini or plate mail your eyes get sucked right to it. Whether you like it or not, it’s done its job. It drew your eye in a sea of comic books, video game covers or even just art.
Think back, you always hear about the terrible game which had zero gameplay, and boring story and was all based on a warrior wearing bikini chainmail. As if the cover had anything to do with the failings of the game as a whole.
But we’ve seen many other successful franchises do the exact opposite. The reason they succeeded was that they had good gameplay, an entertaining story and a good fun to cost ratio. For some reason, the fact that they relied on bikini marketing never comes up. Other than the odd meme or complaint.
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One of the most successful uses of bikini armor is the community-driven content on Skyrim, thousands, even millions of downloads related to body sliders and custom armor. Many of which are bikini armor.
An example of this is on this youtube video by Jindo Skyrim. They don’t get much skimpier than this. Check out his youtube and twitter for your own ideas.
So is bikini armor just the scapegoat? A visual target complainers can swing at? I think the reason we hear so much complaining is that it’s the biggest thing they can complain about that draws attention to their complaining.
Sorry, I’m off-topic.
I am getting drawn off-topic because I wasn’t trying to get into the debate about bikini armor. What I really want to talk about is using it in-game.
Now as for playing it’s just an image,having fun, or joking around.
When I allow it in games I let my playersknow that it provides very little armor.
When you make or allow players to usebikini armor don’t give it a high armor class.
Instead put an aura on it, a magical buff. But stay away from straight-up armor class buff, use your imagination to create something unique.
Use protection from acid or fire, but bevulnerable to cold. Give +3 charisma, butcurse it to weigh 75 pounds.
Add water breathing, strength bonus, combat bonuses in a hot climate, +1 rage per day or the ability to raise undead.
Put it on an exotic creature or monster who has a humanoid body, to add some variety and mystery.
On a side note, I once gave one of my warlock players a powerful staff that had gender change. At the same time, I gave a +3 charisma women’s thong.
The two items were found in the tomb of a beautiful female necromancer who menaced the region.
The player was so certain it was the +3 thong that changed his gender he never bothered casting detect magic on the staff itself. The funny thing was he even took it off and threw it in the wind.
Later he tried casting remove curse on himself but it didn’t work because he still had the staff.
There are many variations that we can build or do in a traditional pen and paper game. It’s why I love this genre of games.
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When your DMing and creating things, remember first and foremost, always ‘give high value to entertainment.’
If my players are laughing because of some silly little side quest or a piece of armor with a comical curse, I’ve done my job.
Often the players are entertained by the journey and the little things you had fun with than the main quest. Bikini armor has the opportunity to provide such entertainment.
In the end, it’s a fantasy game and as a creative writer, I hate putting stipulations on someone else’s creative enjoyment. If they want to enjoy playing with this type of armor and designing it, I say let them.
If you want a little more realistic gameplay in your fantasy game… check out these links for medieval armor, women may have worn.
Shadiversity covers these two topics very well if you haven’t found him on youtube yet, I recommend checking out his channel for great ideas.
Whats you take on bikini armor in your games?
Leave a comment below, or share your own pictures on your own armor you’ve designed. We would love to see them or discuss creations and your player’s reactions. Perhaps you played a trick on a player and gave it an illusion, to him its full plate to everyone else it’s a chainmail bikini.
Special thanks to Ellephant Studios, you can find her work here on Deviantart @ellephantstudio or Fiverr if you have any custom art you would like to see come to life.